A Dragon at the Gate: A Mother’s Caregiver Journey
There is a dragon at the gate who means to do your child harm. Raise the drawbridge. Polish your armor. Sharpen your swords. You will find a way to fight and defeat it. The stakes are too high to do anything less than everything you can. A time will come to take off your armor and breathe again, and you will be the hope for another family.
I wrote that little story during my five-year journey with childhood cancer—my child’s cancer treatment. Cecilia was diagnosed with ALL, acute lymphoblastic leukemia, when she was just three-and-a-half years old, and I was thrust into the role of caregiver in the blink of an eye. The idea of cancer choosing my daughter, our family, my life, left me speechless. It also left me pissed off and made me become a fierce warrior for my daughter, our family, and myself.
Cecilia is one of the lucky ones. She survived. I know that’s your number one hope – that the person you are caring for survives, and that life can get back to some kind of “normal.” That desire, to survive this horrible thing and return to “normal”, put me on a mission to help other caregivers not just survive the ordeal they’ve been forced to take on, but come out on the other side intact. Maybe even stronger as a person, tighter as a family, empowered and determined to find a new chapter once the immediate trauma is over.
Caregiving for a child with cancer is all-consuming. It takes over your days, nights, plans, and thoughts. You learn words you never wanted to learn. You make appointments, wait for test results, ask questions, listen carefully, and then try to explain it all to the people you love. You become the person who knows the schedule, the medications, the questions to ask, and the next step. You do what needs to be done because there is no other choice.
Caregivers do not choose this role, but they show up anyway. We show up for the appointments, the sleepless nights, the decisions, the fear, and the love. We show up because the stakes are too high to do anything less than everything we can. And when the immediate trauma is over, we may not return to the life we had before. But we can find a new chapter. We can take off the armor, breathe again, and become hope for another family standing at the gate.
I’m an advocate for caregivers and the author of the award-winning book The Cancer Parent’s Handbook ~ What Your Oncologist Doesn’t Have Time to Tell You. Each quarter on the Caregiver Mental Wellness website, I’ll be back with a new blog post navigating life in the caregiver space.
Feel free to email me if you have a topic you’d love for me to explore.
I’ve got you.
Warmly,
Laura DeKraker Lang-Ree
langreel@gmail.com
