How Cancer Taught Me Self-Love, Author Patricia Heitz
We often hear that self-love is about affirmations, and quiet moments of self-care. But for me, self-love was not something I found in a moment of peace; it was something I fought for in the darkest hours of my life.
In 2002, I was diagnosed with kidney cancer, a complete shock. I had no symptoms, no warning signs—just a doctor telling me about a mass inside my body could take my life. I remember sitting in that chair, thinking, how could this happen? I had small children, a life, and now I am faced with my own mortality.
My first instinct was fear. But something deep inside told me there was more to this than just a disease. I kept praying, help me see what I need to see. Help me know what I need to know. And as I waited for surgery, I found my first answer in a book, “You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay.
The book suggested that illness is connected to negative emotional energy stored in the body. When I flipped to the section on kidney, two words popped out: Shame. Fear.
And suddenly, it all made sense.
I had spent my life carrying shame, from growing up in an alcoholic household, always feeling different, less than, unworthy. I had absorbed beliefs that told me I wasn’t enough, that I lacked value, that I wasn’t lovable. I had buried these beliefs so deeply; I never recognized them.
But my body had.
Cancer, I realized, wasn’t just something that happened to me. It was the physical manifestation of the war I had been waging against myself for years—the self-hate, inner criticism, the belief that I wasn’t good enough. It had all taken root and perpetuated inside me.
That was the moment I thought: if I had created a disease from self-hate, what could I create if I learned self-love?
As I recovered from surgery, I focused on both my physical and emotional healing. I immersed myself in studying the mind-body connection, devouring books, listening to lectures, and learning how our beliefs shape our reality.
And most importantly, I started uncovering the truth beneath my limiting beliefs.
For so long, I had been blind to my authentic gifts and talents, buried under years of negativity. As I released the false stories, I had told myself about who I was, I began to discover my authentic self instead of the persona of who I thought I had to be.
I realized I was valuable, worthy of love. And for the first time, I fell in love with the heart of who I truly am.
It wasn’t easy. Self-love is not about simply deciding to think happy thoughts. It is about undoing years, sometimes decades—of falsehoods. It is about questioning the stories we have told ourselves, realizing their deception and rewriting them with truth, compassion, and authenticity.
The self-criticism stopped.
The old replay of negative childhood beliefs stopped.
Most importantly, the unconscious belief that “I am not worthy” was replaced with “I am talented, gifted, and valuable.”
I started honoring myself, embracing my strengths, my resilience, and my inner wisdom. I learned to speak kindly to myself, trust myself, and live in a way that nourished and expanded the authentic me.
It has been over 20 years since my diagnosis, and I can say with certainty that self-love has been the most powerful medicine of all.
In 2018, my doctor told me something he once said he never could: “You are cured.”
I knew in my heart at that moment, I had healed and saved my life. The wounds that once defined me had been replaced with self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-love.
Today, as a Board-Certified Health & Wellness Coach and Belief Reset Mentor, I help others take this same journey—not just healing their bodies but healing their hearts. Because true wellness isn’t just about physical health; it’s about how we see ourselves, and how much we truly love the person looking back at us in the mirror.
If there is one lesson my journey has taught me, it is this: you don’t have to wait for a wake-up call to start loving yourself. You can choose today.
